is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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