i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
