That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
