my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
