My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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