Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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