nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
