Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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