I am puke
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
