she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
