it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
