do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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