You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize