Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
