Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
