I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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