1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
