u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
