he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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