I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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