I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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