I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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