Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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