I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
