anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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