i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
