Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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