I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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