hotel room ftw
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
