Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize