well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
