And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
