Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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