Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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