I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
