I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I would fuck him just for his dog
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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