My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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