what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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