I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
