hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
