You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
