i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
