Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
