ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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