So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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