we have officially lost it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
