Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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