with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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