Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
