You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize