The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
