I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize