I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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