Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
