So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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