Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
