**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
