Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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