I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
