dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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