I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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