yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
