Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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