I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
