somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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