Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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