New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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