they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
