My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
