I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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